POV: Your Fast Food Fling Just Became A Gastrointestinal Nightmare

If you thought 2024 couldn't get any more appetizing, think again. The universe is serving us a meal we didn't ask for — and frankly, we'd like to send it back to the kitchen.

First up, let’s talk about McDonald’s latest secret menu item: E. coli. The burger behemoth found itself in the spotlight after an unfortunate digestive detour in September. Reportedly, this delightful bacterial seasoning was served alongside their famous Quarter Pounder burgers. While we’ve all had our qualms about what’s really in a McNugget or if their all beef patties are actually all beef, this surprise topping is one nobody ordered. The fast-food giant’s recent E. coli outbreak has hit multiple states, with 9 confirmed illnesses from the outbreak traced back to the beloved golden arches and 1 reported death. The majority of these cases occurred in Kentucky and Ohio, with illnesses beginning between late August and early September 2024. The CDC is currently investigating the exact source within the McDonald’s supply chain. According to the CDC, this particular strain of E. coli (O157:H7, if you’re into that sort of thing) can cause everything from "severe stomach cramps, bloody diarrhea, and vomiting." What a treat! It's like that extra side of heartburn, but worse. Way worse.

People with E. coli infection usually get sick 3 to 4 days after eating or drinking something that contains the bacteria," the CDC warns, which means that while you’re enjoying that post-fast-food bliss, little E. coli is already planning its grand entrance. Surprise!

Moving on, let’s raise a waffle — not literally though, because that could kill you — to Frozen Waffle-gate. Yes, if you’ve been relying on frozen waffles for your “I’m-totally-a-functional-adult” breakfasts, beware: you might be serving up a side of Listeria monocytogenes. TreeHouse Foods recalled its frozen waffles due to listeria contamination. These waffles, sold at places like Walmart, Target, Publix, and more, have thankfully not been linked to any illnesses yet, but we all know listeria doesn’t mess around. This recall, which affects both U.S. and Canadian consumers, was initiated after a routine testing, at one of their facilities, turned up listeria on Oct. 19, 2024.​ Health News Florida So, unless you like playing listeria roulette with your breakfast, it’s best to toss those waffles now.

Listeria can be especially harmful to pregnant women, newborns, and anyone with a weakened immune system. According to the CDC, "an estimated 1,600 people get listeriosis each year, and about 260 die." So, while you're enjoying that crispy breakfast delight, there's a tiny chance it could become your final meal. Perfect for those who like to live life on the edge, right?

Finally, to really round out this apocalyptic feast, we have the “Meat Recall of 2024”. Nearly 10 million pounds of ready-to-eat meat and poultry products were recalled after testing positive for listeria. The recall, which started in early October, affects Boars Head and Old Country products from major stores like Walmart, Trader Joe’s, Aldi, and H-E-B. These meats, produced at a facility in Durant, Oklahoma, are suspected to have been contaminated between June 19 and October 8, 2024. Oh, and this isn’t just an inconvenience—products were shipped nationwide, meaning no one is safe from this meaty menace​. Allrecipes As of late, there have been over 50 reported illnesses linked to the listeria outbreak with 10 of those resulting in death.

In case you’re still curious about how these incidents keep happening, the CDC dropped another nugget of wisdom on us: "E. coli is often transmitted through contaminated water or food, or through contact with animals or persons." In other words, somewhere in the supply chain, someone got real cozy with some bacteria. And now, we're all paying the price.

What to Do If You’ve Eaten Contaminated Food

If you’ve recently indulged in McDonald’s, Treehouse Foods waffles, or any deli meat from literally any major grocery store, it’s time to start playing a game called "Wait and See." According to the CDC, symptoms of foodborne illness can range from mild discomfort to "Oh no, I think I’m dying." If you're lucky, you’ll just ride it out with some ginger ale and Netflix.

But if you’re not so lucky, the CDC recommends seeking medical attention for "severe symptoms such as high fever, dehydration, or prolonged vomiting." So, basically, if you're reenacting The Exorcist, head to the ER.

As 2024 continues to deliver more stomach-turning surprises than a questionable taco truck, it’s a good reminder that maybe it’s time to learn to cook at home. Who knows, maybe the next recall will target frozen veggies, and we’ll all just have to live off rice cakes and bottled water.

So the next time you take a bite of your favorite fast food, or pop a waffle in the toaster, remember: you’re not just eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner — you’re living dangerously. Bon appétit!

Sources: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, *E. coli (Escherichia coli)*, updated 2024, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, *Listeria (Listeriosis)*, updated 2024, Food Safety News, "15,000 Pounds of Beef Recalled Due to E. coli Concerns," September 2024.