Putting Others’ Goals Ahead of Your Own Can Have a Major Impact On You
Balancing personal goals with the needs and aspirations of others is like walking a tightrope in skinny heels—tricky but totally doable if you know what you're doing. Sure, being a cheerleader for everyone else can create rock-solid relationships and make you the darling of your community. But honey, if you keep putting everyone else's dreams before your own, you're on a fast track to Burnout City, with pit stops at Stressville and Resentment Town. Knowing both the perks and pitfalls of this balancing act is crucial for keeping your life on point and remarkably fulfilling.
Pros of Prioritizing Others' Goals
strengthened relationships
Helping others achieve their goals can strengthen relationships. Acts of support and selflessness can build trust and deepen connections with friends, family, and colleagues
sense of purpose
Assisting others can provide a strong sense of purpose and fulfillment. For many, the satisfaction derived from helping others succeed is immensely rewarding and contributes to a sense of personal accomplishment
improved social skills
Regularly putting others first can enhance empathy, communication, and problem-solving skills. These improved social skills can be beneficial in both personal and professional settings
positive work environment
In professional settings, supporting colleagues' goals can create a more collaborative and positive work environment. This can lead to increased team cohesion and overall productivity
Cons of Prioritizing Others' Goals
neglect of personal goals
Constantly prioritizing others can lead to neglect of your own goals and aspirations. This can result in a lack of personal growth and the inability to achieve your own potential
burnout and stress
Continuously focusing on others' needs can lead to burnout and chronic stress. The pressure to support others without attending to your own needs can drain your energy and affect your mental health
resentment and frustration
Over time, the sacrifice of personal goals for others can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. This emotional toll can strain relationships and diminish the joy derived from helping others
loss of identity
When personal goals are consistently sidelined, there is a risk of losing a sense of self. Personal identity and self-worth are often tied to achieving one's own aspirations, and neglecting these can lead to a diminished sense of self
Balance Is Key!
Navigating the pros and cons of prioritizing others' goals, requires balance.
Here’s how to master that tightrope:
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries! Clearly define your own goals and establish boundaries to ensure they are not consistently overshadowed by others' needs. Learning to say no when necessary is crucial.
Make Sure You Take Care of You: Prioritize self-care, boo boo. Allocate time for activities that recharge you and contribute to your well-being. This can enhance your ability to support others without sacrificing your own needs.
Talk it Out: Engage in open communication with those you are supporting. Express your own goals and needs, and seek mutual understanding and support, and if they can’t give that…chunk up the deuce and dip!
Seek Mutual Benefit: Look for ways to support others' goals that also align with your own aspirations. This win-win approach can help in achieving a balance between selflessness and personal growth. If there is a project you can both collaborate on that would help you both, do it. If cross-pollination between all parties will help all of you win, baby, jump on it!
While there are some precious perks to playing fairy godmother and prioritizing others' goals—like beefed-up relationships and a killer sense of purpose—watch out for the dark side. Constantly putting your own dreams on the back burner can leave you burnt out, bitter, and wondering, "Who am I, even?" To avoid this melodrama moment, set some fierce boundaries, make self-care your new BFF, and keep those communication lines wide open. Finding this sweet balance lets you be the supportive superstar you are without turning into a self-sacrificing martyr.
four key focuses to help you “be kind to your mind”
"Be kind to your mind" is a phrase that emphasizes the importance of taking care of one's mental health and well-being. It’s to encourage you to treat yourself with compassion, understanding, and patience. Just as you may prioritize taking care of your physical health by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Being kind to your mind involves practices such as self-care, prayer, self-compassion, and seeking support when needed. “Be kind to your mind” reminds us to be gentle with ourselves, to acknowledge our emotions, and to take steps to nurture our mental and emotional health.
how to be kind to your mind
TROUBLESHOOT YOUR THOUGHTS
Clear your mind of negative or unhelpful thoughts. Focus on the positive in your life and the potentiality of goodness that will come your way from pushing towards the good.
PRAY FOR CLARITY
Often times we get lost in ourselves and cloud our minds with confusing burdens of the world, when our minds should be set on peace, set on understanding, and set on whats true. Set on things within our control that are actually meant for us.
LIVE IN THE NOW
A lot of doubt and fear stem’s from “what if [ insert negative outcome]” which then hinders focus. Redirect. Redirect. Redirect. Take a moment to reflect on what is happening in front of you, what you can see, what you can touch. Redirect your attention to the now.
POINT OUT THE POSITIVE
When it gets too tough to focus on anything else but the negative, point out the tangible positives. Write down all the good in your life, show gratitude for things, and pray the Lord open your heart to more of His goodness.
TREAT YOURSELF WITH COMPASSION
Do you treat yourself like you would treat a friend who needs encouragement? Do you give yourself support and understanding? Or do you become harsh and critical on yourself? Be aware of what you say to yourself, be more friendly, be more kind, be more understanding.
People often tell us to focus on sleeping more, moving more, eating better, set a goal and stick to it, etc. These are very goal driven practices, but what about when you are so closed in by negative thoughts you can hardly focus on those things? This is where these focuses come in, get out of that negative “funk” first, then the next step can be applying goal driven practices.